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Tales of Terror Issue #1

by Coffins Comix

supported by
Markky Karloff
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Markky Karloff Sacred Owls' holy rendition of "Chick Habit" is the best thing to ever happen to music. Favorite track: Chick Habit.
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  • Streaming + Download

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    Also includes PDF of comic book!
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  • Tales of Terror issue #1 is a full size, full color, glossy comic book with 20 pages of terror that comes with a custom comic / CD package complete with plastic sleeve, clear jewel case, cardboard backs with custom blood spatter and hand prints, signed and numbered, limited edition, made by Christian Coffins himself.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Tales of Terror Issue #1 via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 5 days
    edition of 50 
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD or more 

     

1.
Welcome to Tales of Tehwow
2.
Cruzin' in your jets with your suits and the kiddies to white limos seein' all of the cities Time to check in to Hotel Hell You just bought something you cannot sell It's a conspiracy of silence it comes for you in the night it prays on your innocence brings darkness over light No one will believe you if you tell Welcome to the gates of hell Fear and loathing, child in Sacramento, no... Las Vegas ain't got nothing on the Bohemian Grove Paul Bonacci got a gun to the dick The shit they made him do, it really made him sick Forever to ruin anything that he may lick Thought a slit to the wrists would do the trick Midsummer brings out the demons, to summon nightmares Cast away your conscience in the Cremation of Care In the dawn of the age terror did transpire Men in robes burning children in the funeral pyre Fear and loathing, child in Sacramento, no... They rape and murder kids at the Bohemian Grove
3.
Boltin' to your town like a bat outtah hell OWLMOBILE Baby's brassier than a liberty bell OWLMOBILE Battle scars only add to her charm OWLMOBILE Come a little closer, she won't do any harm OWLMOBILE Huntin' down criminal predatory pricks Flyin' down the highway gives me my kicks Music fuckin' blastin' My feet are made of bricks! MOBILE MOBILE OWLMOBILE Boltin' to your town like a bat outtah hell OWLMOBILE It doesn't say "scared owls", learn how to spell! OWLMOBILE Battle scars only add to MY charm OWLMOBILE Come a little closer, I won't do any harm OWLMOBILE Huntin' down criminal predatory pricks Flyin' down the highway gives me my kicks Music fuckin' blastin' My feet are made of bricks! MOBILE MOBILE OWLMOBILE
4.
Hang up the chick habit Hang it up, daddy, Or you'll be alone in a quick Hang up the chick habit Hang it up, daddy, Or you'll never get another fix I'm telling you it's not a trick Pay attention, don't be thick Or you're liable to get licked You're gonna see the reason why When they're spitting in your eye They'll be spitting in your eye Hang up the chick habit Hang it up, daddy, A girl's not a tonic or a pill Hang up the chick habit Hang it up, daddy, You're just jonesing for a spill Oh, how your bubble's gonna burst When you meet another nurse She'll be driving in a hearse You're gonna need a heap of glue When they all catch up with you And they cut you up in two Now your ears are ringing The birds have stopped their singing Everything is turning grey No candy in your till No cutie left to thrill You're alone on a Tuesday Hang up the chick habit Hang it up, daddy, Or you'll be alone in a quick Hang up the chick habit Hang it up, daddy, Or you'll never get another fix I'm telling you it's not a trick Pay attention, don't be thick Or you're liable to get licked You're gonna see the reason why When they're spitting in your eye They'll be spitting in your eye You're gonna see the reason why When they're spitting in your eye They'll be spitting in your eye You're gonna see the reason why When they're spitting in your eye They'll be spitting in your eye You're gonna see the reason why When they're spitting in your eye They'll be spitting in your eye
5.
Osceola wants his head back Osceola's on the attack Osceola's gonna get his head back tonight When that famous Seminole died An ol' grave robber tunneled inside. Took his head off with his knife; ever since, he's had a haunted life. Osceola wants his head back Osceola's on the attack Osceola's gonna get his head back tonight That ol' doctor in Saint Augustine Hid it in a jar for his daughters to see Placed it at the end of their bed A fire blazed now they're all dead A fire blazed now they're all dead Osceola wants his head back Osceola's on the attack Osceola's gonna get his head back tonight Now his spirit wanders round From his grave into your town If you got it you better put it down He won't stop till it is found He won't stop till it is found Osceola wants his head back Osceola's on the attack Osceola's gonna get his head back tonight
6.
GYROJETS I was just a kid So I never said How much I loved you Mannequin head I'm a grown up corpse I can brave the cellar Ann I promise I'll retrieve your head Father don't know you He know you He know you Mother don't get you She get you She get you
7.
Invitations from beyond, Echo through cadaveric halls, Beckoned by infernal gates, Deep beneath this ossuary, Abandon all hope, ye who enter here, Infiltrate inferno seeking damned frontiers, Suffer eternal in the city of woe, As above, so below, The only way out is down...
8.
I've robbed away the youth of every state, Licked them clean from my dinner plate, But she stole my heart back in '28, Now it can't be her brother that I mutilate, The implements of hell are virgin clean, Unscathed and pure for my Gracie queen, So come along, we'll visit my niece, Come along, I know you'd love to meet... The Gray Man, The Werewolf of Wysteria, I've robbed away the youth of every state, Yet none took my breath like your baby Grace, She kicked and screamed but it was too late, I'll be feasting on that ass for the next nine days, She wasn't the first, she won't be the last, Frank Howard's a man with a checkered past, But God commanded me to end this fast, No more needle-bound spankings for the ass of... The Gray Man, The Werewolf of Wysteria
9.
Hallucinations haunting her head, Stalked by the pale and soulless dead, A killer uncle from beyond the grave, Evading destiny before it's too late, Jamie, the boogeyman is coming, Jamie, he can sense your heartbeat, The night approaches, he will return, Blackness rises, mortality burns, Impaled upon the revelation, That you cannot kill damnation, Jamie, the boogeyman is coming, Jamie, he can hear your heart scream, The night approaches, he will return, Blackness rises, mortality burns, Impaled upon the revelation, That you cannot kill damnation, Jamie, the boogeyman is coming, Jamie, he can hear your heart scream, Jamie, the boogeyman, he wants you, Jamie, embrace the curse or you'll, Die...
10.
They took her from me, my love and my life, Scattered her bones in the dead of night, She rests upon the flames of our broken abode, Ashes, once my soul, in the cold winds, ablow, Behold your stench in my parlor of pain, Haunted by the twisted grin of Albert Caine, Your empty casket shall rest in peace, Your flesh bound to taste all you've stolen from me, Step forth, sweet child, your time has come, Exhumed to quell my dark desires, one by one, Igniting a vengeance, noble to none, Now I lay thee down to sleep, one by one, Unrest among the dead in eternity, Reside immortal in our house of screams, Unrest among the dead in eternity, This is the house of screams
11.
12.
13 Ghosts creeping at my door. They swore they wouldnt come around anymore. But I can feel the chills run down my spine. Oh, lovers youre no longer mine. And how long can this dance carry on After you've turned into carrion?! Let's scream away the night my ghouls.  Let's scream away the fright, my fools. When the morning shines its garish light... I wanna be holding onto you tight. Let's scream away the night my ghouls! Whoa! 13 rings of salt at my door. These demons arent welcome anymore. Even Sam and Dean cant save us now! We've got to muddle through somehow! And how long can this dance carry on? After you've turned into carrion?! Let's scream away the night my ghouls.  Let's scream away the fright, my fools. When the morning shines its garish light... I wanna be holding onto you tight. Let's scream away the night my ghouls! Woah! ...and when the dawn forces the night to break away "I love you my fiends" is all we've left to say. At least we're among fellow monsters today. For now our bodies begin to decay! Let's scream away the night my ghouls.  Let's scream away the fright, my fools. When the morning shines its garish light... I wanna be holding onto you tight. Let's scream away the night my ghouls!
13.
This cabin was abandoned. You all were so stranded. I never asked to be summoned. But now the Evil Dead are coming! You can try to run. You wont get far! Because you idiots said "kandar, kandar, KANDAR!" I don't wanna be a Deadite no more. The Necronomicon just aint what it used to be. I don't wanna be a Deadite no more. C'mon Ash now you could set us free! I don't wanna be a Deadite no more. Dead by Dawn just ain't the way for me! I don't wanna hurt you. Try to understand. Hey Ash, I'm really sorry... ...about your hand. Maybe we could come to a compromise?  I'm also so sorry for yoyr sisters demise. ...and your girlfriend ...and your best friend Ok...every body dies but... I don't wanna be a Deadite no more. The Necronomicon just aint what it used to be. I don't wanna be a Deadite no more. C'mon Ash now you could set us free! I don't wanna be a Deadite no more. Dead by Dawn just ain't the way for me! We're coming to get you! We're coming to get you! Not another peep, its time to go to sleep! I want you to get me! I want you to get me! Not another peep, its time to go to sleep! But... I don't wanna be a Deadite no more. The Necronomicon just aint what it used to be. I don't wanna be a Deadite no more. C'mon Ash now you could set us free! I don't wanna be a Deadite no more. Dead by Dawn just ain't the way for me!
14.
Thanks for listening... Tune in next time... Goodbye...

about

Tales of Terror is a Horror Anthology Comic Book / Full Length Compilation Album that you can listen to while you read!!! Each song has a comic of some sort! Comes with 20 full color pages of terror, 14 tracks, & 6 bands in 1 creepy collection of compositions and a comic book!

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released October 31, 2017

Special thanks to all bands, artists, friends, and family for making this thing possible!

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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Coffins Comix Orlando, Florida

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